Figjadril is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, generous shrew.

Figjadril created an atom eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figjadril, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Figjadril, it will send you a sign.

Figjadril's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Figjadril's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with pride.

2. Erect three iron sculptures of Figjadril on top of important buildings.

3. Never talk about bats.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.