Fodcamfarnton is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, calm mongoose.

Fodcamfarnton created everything that exists six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fodcamfarnton, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fodcamfarnton, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fodcamfarnton's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Fodcamfarnton's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

2. Do not eat rice.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fodcamfarnton.

4. You must love Fodcamfarnton.

5. Never talk about cell theory.