Spagzanhom is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, stupid armadillo.

Spagzanhom created the Sombrero Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Spagzanhom, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Spagzanhom, he will turn you into a mole.

Spagzanhom's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Spagzanhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never allow swans to witness sacred rites.

3. Always store corn above ground.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics.