Kaplitpid is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, conceited clam.

Kaplitpid created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Kaplitpid, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kaplitpid, he will make you grow a tail.

Kaplitpid's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Kaplitpid's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

2. Do not keep nine bats in a large pit.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not commit murder.