Stigtapbon is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, capable unicorn.

Stigtapbon created the Sun three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigtapbon, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Stigtapbon, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Stigtapbon's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Stigtapbon's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow manatees to witness sacred rites.

2. Always remove shorts before touching gold.

3. Always help snakes in need.

4. Do not prepare apples while filled with anger.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.