Jonlamfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, cheerful shrew.

Jonlamfarn created the planet Venus eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonlamfarn, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jonlamfarn, it will send you a sign.

Jonlamfarn's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Jonlamfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray doves for they are unholy.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always help turtles.

4. Never wear white rings.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near great tits while wearing blue shorts and balancing four copper spheres on your face.