Sawnuttban is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, selfish rhinoceros.

Sawnuttban created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Sawnuttban, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sawnuttban, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Sawnuttban's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Sawnuttban's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not prepare wheat while wearing ear rings.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Always count to six before sleeping.