Pagtinpop is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, ill-tempered faun.

Pagtinpop created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Pagtinpop, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pagtinpop, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Pagtinpop's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Pagtinpop's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always obey Pagtinpop's priests.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near ants while wearing white shorts and balancing six aluminium spheres on your back.