Tonk is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, weak coyote.

Tonk created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tonk, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tonk, he will turn you into a sheep.

Tonk's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not speak about corn.