Gessxuctenfedbinfetkabtin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ill-tempered giraffe.

Gessxuctenfedbinfetkabtin created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessxuctenfedbinfetkabtin, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gessxuctenfedbinfetkabtin, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gessxuctenfedbinfetkabtin's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Gessxuctenfedbinfetkabtin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt whales.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always pray immersed in water.