Komvenkop is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, awesome gorilla.

Komvenkop created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Komvenkop, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Komvenkop, he will turn you into a duck.

Komvenkop's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Komvenkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Do not study chromosomes on holy days.

4. Retreat if seven frogs approach from the west.

5. Always wash your head before prayer.