Gunvadlan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unselfish spider.

Gunvadlan created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunvadlan, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gunvadlan, it will not invite you to parties.

Gunvadlan's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Gunvadlan's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat onions.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near tapirs while wearing indigo ear rings and balancing five platinum spheres on your feet.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Hide if eight mice approach from the north.