Bumjinben Fembesstan is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, deceitful hyena.

Bumjinben Fembesstan created the planet Earth four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumjinben Fembesstan, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bumjinben Fembesstan, he will be very unhappy.

Bumjinben Fembesstan's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bumjinben Fembesstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not prepare grapes while wearing rings.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.