Gepfudsig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, humorless porpoise.

Gepfudsig created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepfudsig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gepfudsig, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gepfudsig's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gepfudsig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. You must love Gepfudsig.

5. Worship no other gods but Gepfudsig.