Parkkemtaghabquafyarlarm is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic parrot.

Parkkemtaghabquafyarlarm created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkkemtaghabquafyarlarm, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Parkkemtaghabquafyarlarm, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Parkkemtaghabquafyarlarm's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Parkkemtaghabquafyarlarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle silicon while unclean.

2. Never bounce in the presence of dolphins.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always remove skirts before touching aluminium.

5. Never mix parsnips with water.