Quamvaddin is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, strong hamster.

Quamvaddin created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quamvaddin, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quamvaddin, it will be very sad.

Quamvaddin's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Quamvaddin's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quamvaddin.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Quamvaddin loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about enzymes.