Shavbopxen is a god.

She takes the form of a large, compassionate walrus.

Shavbopxen created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavbopxen, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Shavbopxen, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Shavbopxen's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Shavbopxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

4. Never talk about frogs.

5. Fast once a month.