Pibveenteen is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful bat.

Pibveenteen created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pibveenteen, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pibveenteen, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Pibveenteen's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Pibveenteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill hamsters.

2. Always remove jumpers before touching titanium.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always help sick manatees.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.