Armpanquaglogditwig is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, impressive gorilla.

Armpanquaglogditwig created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Armpanquaglogditwig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Armpanquaglogditwig, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Armpanquaglogditwig's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Armpanquaglogditwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

4. Never think about thermodynamics.

5. Run away from violet shrews, for they are unholy.