Hivyaktikfas is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, flying penguin.

Hivyaktikfas created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivyaktikfas, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hivyaktikfas, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hivyaktikfas' most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Hivyaktikfas' Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always obey Hivyaktikfas' priests.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always help sick porpoises.

5. Never think ill of sick cats.