Midcutwad is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, happy squirrel.

Midcutwad created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Midcutwad, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Midcutwad, he will boil you in a big pot.

Midcutwad's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Midcutwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Midcutwad in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.