Sawfemtar is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, effective squirrel.

Sawfemtar created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawfemtar, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawfemtar, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sawfemtar's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Sawfemtar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat aubergines.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Run away if nine moths approach from the north.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never jump in holy places.