Citjiggum Biftitkadhimnanbin is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, ruthless goose.

Citjiggum Biftitkadhimnanbin created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Citjiggum Biftitkadhimnanbin, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Citjiggum Biftitkadhimnanbin, he will jump up and down on your head.

Citjiggum Biftitkadhimnanbin's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Citjiggum Biftitkadhimnanbin's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Citjiggum Biftitkadhimnanbin.

2. Do not hurt dogs.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.