Stigdagkam is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, emotional swallow.

Stigdagkam created the Large Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigdagkam, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stigdagkam, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Stigdagkam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Stigdagkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch blood while clean.

2. Never fashion tools from stone.

3. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.