Foblamspagvog is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, tranquil walrus.

Foblamspagvog created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Foblamspagvog, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Foblamspagvog, it will turn you into a goat.

Foblamspagvog's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Foblamspagvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after doves.

2. Always look after injured ducks.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Never adorn your back with mauve markings.