Gepsatciss is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, capable armadillo.

Gepsatciss created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Gepsatciss, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gepsatciss, he will turn you into a worm.

Gepsatciss' most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Gepsatciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of snails.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gepsatciss.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.