Nutflapbig Armbodont is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, loving elephant.

Nutflapbig Armbodont created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutflapbig Armbodont, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nutflapbig Armbodont, she will refuse to believe in you.

Nutflapbig Armbodont's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Nutflapbig Armbodont's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never run in the presence of dolphins.

4. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

5. Heed all visions.