Tarpbigkon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tiresome aardvark.

Tarpbigkon created the Milkyway two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbigkon, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tarpbigkon, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tarpbigkon's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Tarpbigkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about spacetime.

3. You must never eat bread.

4. Never talk about chromosomes.

5. Never talk about optics near eagles while wearing green coats.