Tangabgub is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, quiet seal.

Tangabgub created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tangabgub, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tangabgub, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tangabgub's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Tangabgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your legs with orange.

2. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with fear.

3. Never gather six cats near doors.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

5. Never sing in the presence of dolphins.