Dissquaflincissbitcinomintig Kemmetzanbimstiklabken is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, witless mongoose.

Dissquaflincissbitcinomintig Kemmetzanbimstiklabken created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dissquaflincissbitcinomintig Kemmetzanbimstiklabken, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dissquaflincissbitcinomintig Kemmetzanbimstiklabken, he will be very unhappy.

Dissquaflincissbitcinomintig Kemmetzanbimstiklabken's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Dissquaflincissbitcinomintig Kemmetzanbimstiklabken's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never feed lots of lentils to dolphins while wearing violet jumpers.

3. Do not keep seven manatees in a large pit.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dissquaflincissbitcinomintig Kemmetzanbimstiklabken.