Padgamlag is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, humane donkey.

Padgamlag created parasitic wasps eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padgamlag, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Padgamlag, it will not invite you to parties.

Padgamlag's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Padgamlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear boots.

2. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.