Bomquatvildud is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, ruthless beaver.

Bomquatvildud created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomquatvildud, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bomquatvildud, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bomquatvildud's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bomquatvildud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

4. Put Bomquatvildud first in all things.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.