Dadfatjap is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, tiresome slug.

Dadfatjap created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadfatjap, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dadfatjap, she will torture you forever.

Dadfatjap's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Dadfatjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill eagles.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never write about moons.