Tarpnullfenvon is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, confident hydra.

Tarpnullfenvon created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpnullfenvon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tarpnullfenvon, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tarpnullfenvon's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Tarpnullfenvon's Holy Commandments

1. Tarpnullfenvon must be the most important thing in your life.

2. You must love Tarpnullfenvon.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Run away from white shrews, for they are unholy.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.