Funkikart is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, able naga.

Funkikart created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funkikart, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Funkikart, he will torture you forever.

Funkikart's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Funkikart's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest magenta.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Put Funkikart first in all things.

5. Never think about asteroids.