Barngumced is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, two-faced alligator.

Barngumced created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barngumced, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Barngumced, she will destroy your home solar system.

Barngumced's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Barngumced's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shoes.

2. You must love Barngumced.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Barngumced loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.