Kenlagmeg Gutrutnul is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, contented bat.

Kenlagmeg Gutrutnul created a bottom quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenlagmeg Gutrutnul, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kenlagmeg Gutrutnul, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Kenlagmeg Gutrutnul's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Kenlagmeg Gutrutnul's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Kenlagmeg Gutrutnul loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.