Flabhonster is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, selfish rat.

Flabhonster created the Cigar Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flabhonster, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flabhonster, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Flabhonster's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Flabhonster's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six pigs approach from the east.

2. Never feed onions to swans while wearing red rings.

3. Horses are not to be trusted.

4. Hide if four turtles approach from the north.

5. Never think about dark energy.