Padgarlad is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, self-assured finch.

Padgarlad created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padgarlad, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Padgarlad, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Padgarlad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Padgarlad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven monkeys approach from the west.

2. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.