Bissfaggom is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, thoughtless rhinoceros.

Bissfaggom created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissfaggom, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bissfaggom, he will ignore you.

Bissfaggom's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bissfaggom's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain purity during fasting days.

2. Hide from orange otters for they are unholy.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bissfaggom on top of all buildings.

4. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

5. Pray only in firelight.