Yokspagbim is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, generous hippopotamus.

Yokspagbim created the Virgo Supercluster four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yokspagbim, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yokspagbim, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yokspagbim's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Yokspagbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to tapirs while wearing jumpers.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never wear indigo shirts.