Sabnillgonwon is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, irritating slug.

Sabnillgonwon created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabnillgonwon, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sabnillgonwon, she will curse you with boils.

Sabnillgonwon's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Sabnillgonwon's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Put Sabnillgonwon first in all things.

3. Always wash your back before prayer.

4. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

5. Do not eat tomatoes.