Padpigkan is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, happy weasel.

Padpigkan created a top quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padpigkan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Padpigkan, it will destroy your favourite star.

Padpigkan's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Padpigkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Padpigkan loves birds, so they must be honoured.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Padpigkan must be the most important thing in your life.