Basttambot is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, omniscient jaguar.

Basttambot created the Sunflower Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Basttambot, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Basttambot, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Basttambot's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Basttambot's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to foxes while wearing yellow jumpers.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never wear shoes.