Ceplagtomtafmitnatgep Quartyartjad Midhigboss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, slow squid.

Ceplagtomtafmitnatgep Quartyartjad Midhigboss created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ceplagtomtafmitnatgep Quartyartjad Midhigboss, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ceplagtomtafmitnatgep Quartyartjad Midhigboss, he will destroy your home planet.

Ceplagtomtafmitnatgep Quartyartjad Midhigboss' most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Ceplagtomtafmitnatgep Quartyartjad Midhigboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.

4. Never feed apples to mites while wearing green shorts.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.