Mutflapcit is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witty hippopotamus.

Mutflapcit created oxygen three million years ago.

If you believe in Mutflapcit, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Mutflapcit, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Mutflapcit's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Mutflapcit's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not keep eight sharks in a large pit.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near turtles while wearing violet hats.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Do not commit murder.