Habgudtif is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unselfish otter.

Habgudtif created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habgudtif, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Habgudtif, he will torture you forever.

Habgudtif's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Habgudtif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair purple.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Hide if six aardvarks approach from the west.

4. Never go into green rooms.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Habgudtif.