Cibtettijat Satdotzedlim Nuttofwod is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, emotional snake.

Cibtettijat Satdotzedlim Nuttofwod created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cibtettijat Satdotzedlim Nuttofwod, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cibtettijat Satdotzedlim Nuttofwod, he will boil you in a big pot.

Cibtettijat Satdotzedlim Nuttofwod's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Cibtettijat Satdotzedlim Nuttofwod's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

2. Never handle platinum while unclean.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near mites while wearing yellow shirts.

4. You must never eat limes.

5. Shun those given to sloth.