Gantettilikrowhonhatpang is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic turtle.

Gantettilikrowhonhatpang created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gantettilikrowhonhatpang, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gantettilikrowhonhatpang, he will turn you into a mole.

Gantettilikrowhonhatpang's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Gantettilikrowhonhatpang's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must never eat bread.

3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

4. Do not study nucleic acids on holy days.

5. Never allow goats to sleep beneath your roof.