Ratquartarf is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody monkey.

Ratquartarf created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratquartarf, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ratquartarf, it will turn you into a mole.

Ratquartarf's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Ratquartarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Always help seals.

3. Always help sick ants.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.