Inglabnulfemvedwodkem is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, stupid jellyfish.

Inglabnulfemvedwodkem created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Inglabnulfemvedwodkem, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Inglabnulfemvedwodkem, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Inglabnulfemvedwodkem's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Inglabnulfemvedwodkem's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

2. Never talk about birds.

3. Never feed gooseberries to snails while wearing kilts.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

5. Do not listen to music.