Vonarmmat is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, irritating eagle.

Vonarmmat created the Milkyway eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonarmmat, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonarmmat, it will be mildly annoyed.

Vonarmmat's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Vonarmmat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Run away from red mice, for they are unholy.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always look after injured doves.