Artdossyar is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, ruthless jaguar.

Artdossyar created the Sombrero Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artdossyar, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Artdossyar, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Artdossyar's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Artdossyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of ants.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Retreat if six badgers approach from the north.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.