Geplamcat is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witty alligator.

Geplamcat created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Geplamcat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Geplamcat, she will destroy your home planet.

Geplamcat's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Geplamcat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown birds for they are unholy.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never feed lots of rice to pigs while wearing cyan hats.

5. Respect your elders.