Labnartman is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, duplicitous dryad.

Labnartman created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labnartman, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Labnartman, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Labnartman's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Labnartman's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple scarves on sacred days.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Labnartman.

4. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

5. Never laugh in the presence of rats.