Waplipjan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unfair warg.

Waplipjan created the Sol system six million years ago.

If you believe in Waplipjan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Waplipjan, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Waplipjan's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Waplipjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

3. Never curse while facing north.

4. Never approach mountains carrying wood.

5. Never speak the names of comets aloud.