Suggabmum is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, generous manatee.

Suggabmum created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Suggabmum, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Suggabmum, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Suggabmum's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Suggabmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cucumbers to geese while wearing turquoise ear rings.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. Never feed cherries to voles while wearing trousers.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Suggabmum.

5. Never think about chromosomes.