Lenparkgat is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, happy gorilla.

Lenparkgat created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lenparkgat, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lenparkgat, it will turn you into a sheep.

Lenparkgat's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Lenparkgat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near snakes while wearing violet jumpers.

4. Lenparkgat must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always obey Lenparkgat's priests.